keep on dancing
▬ Erika Smythe ▬
WMBA student. I dance until my feet hurt, never go anywhere without my iPod, and drink far too much coffee.In life, as in the dance, grace glides on blistered feet.
Erika was bored and more annoyed than she’d ever been in her life. The crutches were pissing her off beyond belief – she was always late to class and getting stared at in the hallways as she hobbled around – and without dance practice to occupy some of her free time, she was stuck for things to do. She’d even had to give up her job at the Lima Bean, because being slow and injured just wouldn’t work for a barista in a fast-paced coffee shop.
She’d been to the dance studio a few times, just to watch and feel at home again, but it didn’t work. She just felt sad, sitting there on the sidelines whilst everyone else went by.
As she sat herself on a bench in the middle of campus, Erika looked up to the sky and let out a deep breath. She knew she had to find something else to do, something she was good at and that would occupy her while she healed, but that was easier said than done. She’d put her whole life into dancing. She leant her head back with a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment.
No, she hasn’t. If she had then I would listen to her. I can’t read her mind and it shouldn’t be my responsibility to predict what she wants.
Okay, well, she wants to know what’s going on. She feels like we’re all blocking her out and she’s convinced that you and Ev don’t want her in your lives anymore because no one will tell her what’s going on.
Don’t. Whatever it is that’s going on they obviously don’t want me to know about it. If they did they wouldn’t have to be yelled at it to talk to me. I appreciate that you would though. They don’t need me, I’m the one that needs them.
…Oh my God…Kika. I’m so sorry. But…You’re right, I do know you. And if there’s anyone I know that can get through this, it’s you. Don’t give up on your dreams.
Okay, so I won’t yell, but I think Ev is coming to see me later. I’ll see what I can do then. I hate the three of you being so distant from each other. If I need to sellotape you all together than I will.
Heh, don’t be sorry. I’m… well, I guess I’m getting used to it now. I’m not gonna be a principal dancer, not at all, but I can aim for something else, hopefully. I’m not gonna give up. I just have to concentrate on something else until then, right?
Well why can’t she tell me that?
She’s been trying. I don’t know, Blaine, I really don’t. I just hate seeing all of you so… seperated.
I love you, too. And I am but not telling me anything is just going to make me worry more. I get that. And I”m sorry for taking it out on you. I just…I’m so sick of being in the dark about everything.
I’ve tried and I just get brushed off or completely ignored.
I’m just done. If they don’t want me as a part of what’s going on in their lives I can’t blame them.
Okay. I’m gonna yell at them and put on my scary face, that might help. But I can absolutely promise you that just because they’re being quiet, that doesn’t mean they don’t want you as a part of their lives. They love and adore you. I don’t know why they’re refusing to say anything, but they need you in their lives.
…I’m gonna tell you. But you have to promise me that you won’t tell Blaine or Ev. I don’t want them to know until I’m ready. I didn’t want anyone to know until I was ready, but you… you’re special, Frankieboo. I, uh… I had a stress fracture in my leg, which is simple enough to fix if you rest. But you know me, I love to dance, and I had big auditions to prepare for, so I just kept practicing and practicing and I just made it worse and worse and worse. And basically… I kinda completely screwed my leg up. I have metal pins and everything now. I’m not gonna be able to walk properly for at least a year, let alone dance, and then I have to go through physio and possibly surgery and yeah. So… no dancing dreams for me.
erikasmythe replied to your post: erikasmythe replied to your post: erikasmythe…
You are not a moron, and I know that I personally don’t tell you some things because I don’t want to you to worry.I am. Right, no one wants to worry me. No one wants to bother me with their problems. So instead I just sit here in the dark, confused, and worry anyways because everyone thinks I’m weak and can’t handle it, or that I can’t be trusted enough with the information, or because I’m just not important enough to be told. I get it. I’m the baby and I’m never going to be a part of it.
Frankie, listen to me. I love you, and I’ve always tried to be as open with you as possible, but you know you’re a natural worrier. It’s just what you do, and I don’t want my problems weighing you down. I don’t think your weak, I trust you completely, and of course you’re important enough to know, you silly goose! But personally, there are things that I want to keep just between me, Seb & Cam and our parents.
Blaine and Ev, well, I don’t know what’s up with them either, but tell them how you feel. Force them to share with you.
I’ll leave some for you!!!
I adore you.
